a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
