So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
