p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
