Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
