I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
