i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
