I cockslap morals
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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