Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
