I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
