Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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