I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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