But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
