so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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