it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Randomize
