i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
