i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
