jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im six kinds of drunk right now
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
