these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
