I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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