3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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