You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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