i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
