I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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