I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
