im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
where are you?
Hypothermia
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
