Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
