So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I would ride that face into the sunset
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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