absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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