Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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