He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
