People in love make me want to vomit
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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