Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
