Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
