Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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