I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
