The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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