The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
