You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
God, I missed his penis.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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