Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
