I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
