See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
