if i can run in heels then i can drive
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
