It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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