i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
