She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
