I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
