Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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