Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
