I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
