Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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