Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
