Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
